Over 100 lbs …
Hello you lovely buddies!
Hope you’re having a great weekend. I weighed in this morning and I couldn’t believe I finally made it over my 100 mark. I was so nervous because I thought I was sabotaging myself. Honestly, I never thought this day would come. It doesn’t quite feel like I thought it would. I am happy, don’t get me wrong but a little melancholy too. Not really sure why… I guess it is because I realize that I have so much further to go. and… maybe because when I am completely having a wonderful day, sometimes a stranger comes along and says something to remind me that I am larger or that I am overweight… a constant reminder. Like Friday, I went to a fabric store ( I have a recital every year and my mom makes my gowns, and I am trying to find something very special) She was giving me ideas… and she said ” You’re a substantial woman, you could wear any color.” I felt kinda bad, I mean substantial means “Sturdy” or “Large”… and I wish that I could go one day without being reminded of my size. It’s a very sensitive subject, but one that you think I would be used to after 31 years. Still I don’t think it ever gets easier to hear. Not that it matters but this woman was from Germany and I thought she would appreciate the fact that I am an opera singer… but she ended our conversation by saying, “I like my opera singers that are voluptuous and not skinny”… I guess she was just trying to be nice. It still infuriates me. But oh well… I need to realize that no matter what, I will never please everyone and that even when I get to my goal weight, someone will still pick me apart. Throughout this journey, I am really finding out a lot about myself. My hopes and fears and all the dreams that I have always hoped would come true. It kinda frightens me because when I finally lose all the weight, everything will all be up to me, and I won’t have anymore excuses or things or weight to blame the bad stuff on. I will have to be accountable for everything… and it will just be me. I do hope that I can finally be good enough… at least for me… People that never had a weight problem just don’t undersand… It’s more than a physical problem. It’s so emotional and mental. I guess that explains why sometimes I just feel like crying when I’m doing my 2 hour cardio sessions. It’s a release… and I never ever thought I could accomplish any of this. I always thought I would be that chubby blonde opera singer that had to feel like hiding. For once in my life, I don’t want to hide anymore. I want it all! Thank you to all of you… you have inspired me and motivated me when I felt like I couldn’t lose anymore. I hope that I can stay positive and keep going. I feel that I have such a long way to go for my final goal. When I think about it I get kinda sad… but I never thought I could ever lose weight. I was always fat my entire life and as an adult, I never weighed under 380 lbs. Together we can battle and lose weight to be mentally, physically, emotionally healthy….. and HAPPY…. 
Let’s never give up!
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CONGRATULATIONS!!!
100 LBS!!!! You are an inspiration!
People are jerks and they always remind you of your appearance. A few days ago my friend said that I “wear my weight well.” He was trying to be nice but people don’t realize that those kind of compliments actually bring you down. But forget all of them! You’re absolutely right, you will never be able to please everyone!
And once again CONGRATULATIONS!!! That truly is an amazing achievement!
congrats!!! that is so great!!!!!!
Wow, that is really awesome! I bet you feel so great
I still remember when I was getting my engagement pics done and the photographer (who is a sweet dear lady and family friend) was saying something along the lines “oh you kow, bigger girls like you…” and I just felt like crying my eyes out…luckily I held out until I got home but I still think about that. People do not get it.
People will always say comments, if it is not your weight then it’s something else. Just keep going and never give up
Way to go! I bet you can really feel the difference! I know the feeling about having a long way to go, but imagine if you still had the hundred to go? Keep remembering where you came from, cuz I know you don’t wanna go back. I am proud of you!
So incredible!! Congratulations!
Way to go! thats a big accomplishment!!
You’re amazing! That’s a fantastic accomplishment!! It is definately emotional and definately hard. I lost about 30lbs over the winter and had people telling me that I looked good but I still felt overweight and that’s all I could see so I can understand what you’re saying but try to step back and take a look at how far you’ve come. Take a look at your before and after pictures and be proud!! You’re awesome!!!!!
That is awesome, be proud!!!
You’ve done such an awesome job! you should be so proud of yourself! you before and now picture is so brilliant, you can see you’ve really worked hard!
good luck in acheiving your goal.
xx
CONGRATS!! You’ve done amazing! Celebrate and enjoy your empowering success.
I never thought i would be down 110 lbs myself. I started losing weight october of 2008. This is the longest time that I have EVER stayed on any weight loss plan. I myself have never been under 250 as adult untill a couple months ago. I have never not drunk soda as well and have been off sodas for about 6 months now. Keep up the good work, it is do able but anything worth the effort is worth doing.
Wow! Congrats, that is so inspiring!
How wonderful!!! Congrats on putting in the hard work and making this happen for yourself. You are an inspiration!!!!!
** I love opera singers by the way…never have been able to figure out how you guys sing like that!! It’s incredible. Good luck at the recital!
kiki7! i’m smiling so much, my friggin’ face is starting to hurt! so proud of you! (and i don’t even know you!!!!) congratulation!
love your before and after pics too! great job 
*whistling* woOt!!!
You are doing such an amazing job! Be proud of how far you have come!! You’re right, you can’t please everyone..and people are always going to say mean things.. usually they are dealing with stuff themselves…but be selfish..this is for YOU! I’m sure you feel so much better today, than when you started! For now you need to focus on you..if the rest of the world doesn’t get it..so what..most of them haven’t seen how far you’ve come!!! You’re an inspiration…keep up the great work!
:)